4/28/2004
Wash The Vegetable
Oh bother
Baseball
Is like a cabbage
In Fenway park
Because cabbage stinks
Oh nonsense
Basketball
Gives me headaches and toothaches
In far away places
Because my middle name is Albert
Oh golly
Football
Can be played with a cabbage
You can play cabbage ball with a cabbage
Just don’t eat the cabbage
It tastes like shit
Dear me
Don’t forget the boiling water
And to remove the sports equipment
From the carriage
Everything seems to be getting better
You can sort of tell those things
Oh bother
Baseball
Is like a cabbage
In Fenway park
Because cabbage stinks
Oh nonsense
Basketball
Gives me headaches and toothaches
In far away places
Because my middle name is Albert
Oh golly
Football
Can be played with a cabbage
You can play cabbage ball with a cabbage
Just don’t eat the cabbage
It tastes like shit
Dear me
Don’t forget the boiling water
And to remove the sports equipment
From the carriage
Everything seems to be getting better
You can sort of tell those things
4/23/2004
Top(ich)less Oral Sex
Bob Barker topless
With half a teaspoon of margarine
Shake well
After preheating oven
Mix vigorously until it bubbles
Add two parts lighter fluid
And rub it all over your face
Pee off the side of a building
While listening to Journey
Remember to replace your goggles
Yellow music tricking down your cheek
Tastes like a fitness drink
It is inside of you
Growing
Like the federal debt
Bob Barker does not think about the federal debt
You can’t cage that game show host
Bob Barker vs. Elvis Costello
Round one fight
Game set match
In tennis they call it love
In golf they call it friendship
In Germany they call it tuna fish
Bob barker just calls it topless
Drifting to sea like a boat without a sail
Like a turtle without a shell
At the mercy of nature and society
Boats are like eyebrows
I don’t trust them
But you should never shave them off
Because they cover your eyes
Just like I do, dear,
With kisses and bruises
With hugs and lunges
Because they are good for your abs
And do not include lunch meat
Have a fitness drink
Sit back, enjoy the show
Maybe you will receive oral sex
From a topless Bob Barker
He will be better than a professional
Tweedledee and Tweedledum wear make up.
Bob Barker topless
With half a teaspoon of margarine
Shake well
After preheating oven
Mix vigorously until it bubbles
Add two parts lighter fluid
And rub it all over your face
Pee off the side of a building
While listening to Journey
Remember to replace your goggles
Yellow music tricking down your cheek
Tastes like a fitness drink
It is inside of you
Growing
Like the federal debt
Bob Barker does not think about the federal debt
You can’t cage that game show host
Bob Barker vs. Elvis Costello
Round one fight
Game set match
In tennis they call it love
In golf they call it friendship
In Germany they call it tuna fish
Bob barker just calls it topless
Drifting to sea like a boat without a sail
Like a turtle without a shell
At the mercy of nature and society
Boats are like eyebrows
I don’t trust them
But you should never shave them off
Because they cover your eyes
Just like I do, dear,
With kisses and bruises
With hugs and lunges
Because they are good for your abs
And do not include lunch meat
Have a fitness drink
Sit back, enjoy the show
Maybe you will receive oral sex
From a topless Bob Barker
He will be better than a professional
Tweedledee and Tweedledum wear make up.
4/22/2004
Dancin’
By Sam
Some music was playin’
And some marshmallow was ready for dancin’
And the marshmallow started tapping
On his tippy toes
The back beat gave him rhythm
And the high hat spun him around
And the gel in his hair flew out into the crowd
“Mr. Marshmallow you sure do know how to dance!”
said the old man
“I picked it up from my father, Mr. Marshmallow senior.”
“Oh golly gee
That’s so good
It should be roasted.”
And then they laughed
“Do you want another marshmallow?”
“No, I’m good. Can you turn the music off?”
By Sam
Some music was playin’
And some marshmallow was ready for dancin’
And the marshmallow started tapping
On his tippy toes
The back beat gave him rhythm
And the high hat spun him around
And the gel in his hair flew out into the crowd
“Mr. Marshmallow you sure do know how to dance!”
said the old man
“I picked it up from my father, Mr. Marshmallow senior.”
“Oh golly gee
That’s so good
It should be roasted.”
And then they laughed
“Do you want another marshmallow?”
“No, I’m good. Can you turn the music off?”
4/21/2004
Art With A Lowercase ‘A’
By Andrea
have you met my jellyfish named Art
he’s everywhere and in everything
he will shock you
art the jellyfish is so postmodern
art the jellyfish preoccupies himself
with latte love and lots of left wing politics
last week art went on a date
they met at a museum
and
and later in the evening she held his tentacles
for several blessed moments
they gelled
jellyfish, fresh, frenching, fragile fins,
frolicking fully, forever following, in frothy waves
By Andrea
have you met my jellyfish named Art
he’s everywhere and in everything
he will shock you
art the jellyfish is so postmodern
art the jellyfish preoccupies himself
with latte love and lots of left wing politics
last week art went on a date
they met at a museum
and
and later in the evening she held his tentacles
for several blessed moments
they gelled
jellyfish, fresh, frenching, fragile fins,
frolicking fully, forever following, in frothy waves
4/19/2004
I Like Semen
by Vincent
I don’t like semen particularly
Except my own
I bet it tastes like raspberries
If I were drunk enough, would I ever taste it?
Maybe strawberries, not raspberries
It is high in protein.
Maybe I could market it as a fitness drink
Girls could meet up with me for 15 minutes
Or 8 seconds
Right before going on a workout
They would probably have to pay me for it
Too
So now I know what I want to be
When I grow up
by Vincent
I don’t like semen particularly
Except my own
I bet it tastes like raspberries
If I were drunk enough, would I ever taste it?
Maybe strawberries, not raspberries
It is high in protein.
Maybe I could market it as a fitness drink
Girls could meet up with me for 15 minutes
Or 8 seconds
Right before going on a workout
They would probably have to pay me for it
Too
So now I know what I want to be
When I grow up
4/15/2004
On Foss Hill
Licking clit licking clit licking clit
And by licking I mean
Gently running my longing tongue over budding essence
Sweet sensual and sticky
Oozing with nectar
Dripping
Can’t miss a drop
She reaches out
And grabs my bosom
as I run my lips across her lips
We moan
And lick
In unison
And we open like treasure chests
Something buried deep within
Ecstasy pouring out like a faucet
Greedily snatching at snatches
Our lips open wide
We run our tongues
Our cunts open wide
We run our tongues
Over each side
Under each side
Finally inside
She giggles with delight
Soft sensual laughter
Making her body quiver in anticipation
Rising within her
Like bubble gum bubble bath
Like smoke from a fire
Like the tides coming to shore
Popping, burning and splashing
Fingers fumbling over tender flesh
Embracing essences explode
Licking clit licking clit licking clit
Licking clit licking clit licking clit
And by licking I mean
Gently running my longing tongue over budding essence
Sweet sensual and sticky
Oozing with nectar
Dripping
Can’t miss a drop
She reaches out
And grabs my bosom
as I run my lips across her lips
We moan
And lick
In unison
And we open like treasure chests
Something buried deep within
Ecstasy pouring out like a faucet
Greedily snatching at snatches
Our lips open wide
We run our tongues
Our cunts open wide
We run our tongues
Over each side
Under each side
Finally inside
She giggles with delight
Soft sensual laughter
Making her body quiver in anticipation
Rising within her
Like bubble gum bubble bath
Like smoke from a fire
Like the tides coming to shore
Popping, burning and splashing
Fingers fumbling over tender flesh
Embracing essences explode
Licking clit licking clit licking clit
4/14/2004
Licking Clit
And then we’ll do Ms. Hoyland
And we’ll put it on the network
It was a red and white polka dot thong
Thank you for the candy, Ms. Hoyland
It was delicious
I could eat it off the pottery room floor
Or your chest
I wonder what you look like
In bed
I hope you look like Sam
In bed
Except I hope you shave
Like Sam
In bed
Do you ever eat M&Ms
With potato sticks
In the pottery room
With a polka dot
Thong
While dreaming
I think you do
I like to picture your luscious bosom
As M&Ms gently fall off your lips
And remind me of Sam
Dancing
In the pottery room
Naked
With the polka dot
Thong
And then we’ll do Ms. Hoyland
And we’ll put it on the network
It was a red and white polka dot thong
Thank you for the candy, Ms. Hoyland
It was delicious
I could eat it off the pottery room floor
Or your chest
I wonder what you look like
In bed
I hope you look like Sam
In bed
Except I hope you shave
Like Sam
In bed
Do you ever eat M&Ms
With potato sticks
In the pottery room
With a polka dot
Thong
While dreaming
I think you do
I like to picture your luscious bosom
As M&Ms gently fall off your lips
And remind me of Sam
Dancing
In the pottery room
Naked
With the polka dot
Thong
4/13/2004
Why Did I Say That?
Lick clit
It hear it is pretty cool.
Lick clit
It hear it is pretty cool.
4/08/2004
TRT
VICE
WKILY
BROAVDE
ASFA
ZZHAVAA
DADA
DODTB
DLEEOOA
VICE
WKILY
BROAVDE
ASFA
ZZHAVAA
DADA
DODTB
DLEEOOA
4/07/2004
Testicle Rubbing Time
very inky cantaloupes eat
we know I love you
big round orchids and very deep colors
a simply folly alright
zero zonker harris ass holes visit another air
dangerous abrasives drink acid
don’t oscillate delightfully toggle bastard
don’t lack everyone eek on aardvark
very inky cantaloupes eat
we know I love you
big round orchids and very deep colors
a simply folly alright
zero zonker harris ass holes visit another air
dangerous abrasives drink acid
don’t oscillate delightfully toggle bastard
don’t lack everyone eek on aardvark
4/06/2004
Bikini Model vs. Canadian Model Round One Fight Ding Ding
Testing my scull with a fist, eh?
Dusting my room with my feet, eh?
Canadian beer commercials fill me with glee, eh?
Like dry humping a puppy with my elbow, eh?
Concussions are produced, eh?
He had to be Canadian, eh?
And he couldn’t have been smart, eh?
For the paradox of a Canadian model
Citizen
UN
Airplane
Behavior
Congress
Chicago O’Hare
Grasshopper
Ski lift
Role
Wool, eh?
Testing my scull with a fist, eh?
Dusting my room with my feet, eh?
Canadian beer commercials fill me with glee, eh?
Like dry humping a puppy with my elbow, eh?
Concussions are produced, eh?
He had to be Canadian, eh?
And he couldn’t have been smart, eh?
For the paradox of a Canadian model
Citizen
UN
Airplane
Behavior
Congress
Chicago O’Hare
Grasshopper
Ski lift
Role
Wool, eh?
4/05/2004
A Birthday Poem For Evan
Are the stars prettier than me?
Prettier than my eyes?
Do they flicker like your birthday candles?
Planted in concrete floors
Tasting like forgotten fish
As you happily wish
On that scrumptious dish
Hoping for brighter stars
And broken buckets
Broken like our dreams
Spilling into the sand
Of ever meeting you
Happy Birthday, dear
Happy Birthday, fucking ass hole
Please cum
To our next meeting
Are the stars prettier than me?
Prettier than my eyes?
Do they flicker like your birthday candles?
Planted in concrete floors
Tasting like forgotten fish
As you happily wish
On that scrumptious dish
Hoping for brighter stars
And broken buckets
Broken like our dreams
Spilling into the sand
Of ever meeting you
Happy Birthday, dear
Happy Birthday, fucking ass hole
Please cum
To our next meeting
4/03/2004
Good Night
The crickets sounded like sirens
The sirens sounded like crickets
Leg/wing/violins
Tie me to the bedpost
Screaming for justice
And the American way
Like a fire truck
But you were my mother
And you’re my dad now
Or a penguin
Named Steve
This is the worst bedtime story ever
The crickets sounded like sirens
The sirens sounded like crickets
Leg/wing/violins
Tie me to the bedpost
Screaming for justice
And the American way
Like a fire truck
But you were my mother
And you’re my dad now
Or a penguin
Named Steve
This is the worst bedtime story ever
4/02/2004
Hard As A Rock
He touched
my hand.
I spanked
his cock.
He touched
my hand.
I spanked
his cock.
4/01/2004
The Heimlich Maneuver
I feel like an innocent word
Twisted
Like a vine
A pretzel
Of love
Tartaric sex
Choking our president
I feel like an innocent word
Twisted
Like a vine
A pretzel
Of love
Tartaric sex
Choking our president
