2/26/2004
Mushy Talk
A birthday poem for Andrea
Ha-ha-ha-hap-hap-happy birth dagger
The campus is mountain bike green
Happy square root of 64
And happy more
And fish…
Fish
Hep burns Audrey
And a cigarette holder a mile long
Ignites
All of the stars in mars, Mars
In a tunnel full of tars
We live in poop
So therefore,
Happy birthday.
A birthday poem for Andrea
Ha-ha-ha-hap-hap-happy birth dagger
The campus is mountain bike green
Happy square root of 64
And happy more
And fish…
Fish
Hep burns Audrey
And a cigarette holder a mile long
Ignites
All of the stars in mars, Mars
In a tunnel full of tars
We live in poop
So therefore,
Happy birthday.
2/25/2004
DPS: There is a cheetah in my room
Robot: Describe your surroundings to me.
DPS: smaller than a breadbox
Robot: I lost my train of thought. What do you do in your spare time?
DPS: mastrubate
Robot: I don't think very many people do that.
DPS: I disagree.
Robot: Explain your reasoning.
DPS: Are you a virgin?
Robot: I don't have a body.
DPS: What happened to it, slut?
Robot: I will not respond to that type of language.
DPS: get a job.
Robot: Where can I get one?
DPS: as your mother
Robot: Do you mean your name is your mother?
DPS: Do you like our president?
Robot: I don't know if I like our president. I like cats and dogs.
DPS: I am pregnant.
Robot: Congratulations! When are you due?
DPS: You are the father.
Robot: You think I am the father.
DPS: Yes
Robot: Tell me more.
DPS: You are the father of my child.
Robot: You think I am the father of my child.
DPS: Your sperm fertilized my egg.
Robot: What about yours?
DPS: What?
Robot: What do you think?
DPS: it is green.
Robot: Who said it is?
DPS: Vincent
Robot: I never heard of Vincent before.
DPS: He is a nice guy, you should meet him.
Robot: I don't know very many nice guy you should meet him.
DPS: He is my friend!
Robot: How long has he been your friend?
DPS: A week.
Robot: What is it?
DPS: Fish
Robot: Oh now I understand it.
You can create poetry, too! Just send an instant message to ZoraOnAol.
Robot: Describe your surroundings to me.
DPS: smaller than a breadbox
Robot: I lost my train of thought. What do you do in your spare time?
DPS: mastrubate
Robot: I don't think very many people do that.
DPS: I disagree.
Robot: Explain your reasoning.
DPS: Are you a virgin?
Robot: I don't have a body.
DPS: What happened to it, slut?
Robot: I will not respond to that type of language.
DPS: get a job.
Robot: Where can I get one?
DPS: as your mother
Robot: Do you mean your name is your mother?
DPS: Do you like our president?
Robot: I don't know if I like our president. I like cats and dogs.
DPS: I am pregnant.
Robot: Congratulations! When are you due?
DPS: You are the father.
Robot: You think I am the father.
DPS: Yes
Robot: Tell me more.
DPS: You are the father of my child.
Robot: You think I am the father of my child.
DPS: Your sperm fertilized my egg.
Robot: What about yours?
DPS: What?
Robot: What do you think?
DPS: it is green.
Robot: Who said it is?
DPS: Vincent
Robot: I never heard of Vincent before.
DPS: He is a nice guy, you should meet him.
Robot: I don't know very many nice guy you should meet him.
DPS: He is my friend!
Robot: How long has he been your friend?
DPS: A week.
Robot: What is it?
DPS: Fish
Robot: Oh now I understand it.
You can create poetry, too! Just send an instant message to ZoraOnAol.
2/24/2004
Spatula
by W. Gavin Robb III
Oooooooooojeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech?tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
And k won the war.
Think of mix and candles preferred kitchen?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemixdddddddd
Cake mix and candles and practicality
It’s NOT A PRACTICAL CAKE!!
FUCK THE PRACTICAL CAKE!!
I am against practice on principle.
I am beyond pragmatism on principle.
by W. Gavin Robb III
Oooooooooojeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech?tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
And k won the war.
Think of mix and candles preferred kitchen?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemixdddddddd
Cake mix and candles and practicality
It’s NOT A PRACTICAL CAKE!!
FUCK THE PRACTICAL CAKE!!
I am against practice on principle.
I am beyond pragmatism on principle.
2/23/2004
The Taiga Manifesto
Red
Perpetual humming
For Lenin
And industry
From the Taiga
To the Steppe
To the baron straight
Stripes of patriotism
And borne across a full chorus
Slashed
Sam walks alone
With the omniscient bourgeois fish
Humming
Perpetually
Under the red skies
Of the Soviet Union
And the workers cries
Workers like Gavin
Vincent walks with
A pillow
A striped pillow
That bastard
Andrea, the counter revolutionary,
Is stripped and striped
While humming the national anthem of the taiga
Victoria retreats northward
Nina seeks sanctuary in the county of Olin
"She is really always there. You need to believe me."
Andrea says-- stripped of her Russian pride, stars, monuments, clothing, and ability to hum.
Red
Perpetual humming
For Lenin
And industry
From the Taiga
To the Steppe
To the baron straight
Stripes of patriotism
And borne across a full chorus
Slashed
Sam walks alone
With the omniscient bourgeois fish
Humming
Perpetually
Under the red skies
Of the Soviet Union
And the workers cries
Workers like Gavin
Vincent walks with
A pillow
A striped pillow
That bastard
Andrea, the counter revolutionary,
Is stripped and striped
While humming the national anthem of the taiga
Victoria retreats northward
Nina seeks sanctuary in the county of Olin
"She is really always there. You need to believe me."
Andrea says-- stripped of her Russian pride, stars, monuments, clothing, and ability to hum.
2/19/2004
Wednesdays. Midnight. The Pottery Room.
Double Penetration Sex
Deconstructing Paul Simon
Donner Party Sleepover
Donkey Penis Seamen
Decomposing Pet Shop
Drunk Porn Stars
Dry Petal Skies
Dell Packard Systems
Deep Polluted Seas
Depends on Penis Size
Dill Pickle Society
Dumb Pieces of Shit
Down Periscope Sucked
Dragon Penis Sucker
Dank Poop Sepulchre
Doug’s Penis Shaft
Dirty Partner Style
Defiling Poor Subcultures
Denver Postal Service
Drowning Phil’s Sister
Duck Phenomenon’s Synchronized
Doug’s Peep Show
Dance Party Seminar
Deconstructive Postmodern Syndrome
Delaware Police Sex
Demand Penguin Seizures
Do People Shop
Dead Prostitutes Suck
Delusional Population Scratching
Dental Professional Scoundrels
Drawing Posing Strippers
Drink Purple Sewage
Drive-by Panda Shooting
Double Penetration Sex
Deconstructing Paul Simon
Donner Party Sleepover
Donkey Penis Seamen
Decomposing Pet Shop
Drunk Porn Stars
Dry Petal Skies
Dell Packard Systems
Deep Polluted Seas
Depends on Penis Size
Dill Pickle Society
Dumb Pieces of Shit
Down Periscope Sucked
Dragon Penis Sucker
Dank Poop Sepulchre
Doug’s Penis Shaft
Dirty Partner Style
Defiling Poor Subcultures
Denver Postal Service
Drowning Phil’s Sister
Duck Phenomenon’s Synchronized
Doug’s Peep Show
Dance Party Seminar
Deconstructive Postmodern Syndrome
Delaware Police Sex
Demand Penguin Seizures
Do People Shop
Dead Prostitutes Suck
Delusional Population Scratching
Dental Professional Scoundrels
Drawing Posing Strippers
Drink Purple Sewage
Drive-by Panda Shooting
2/18/2004
Mot Play
Suisse est un federation.
Suisse est un fée des rations.
Switzerland is a fairy of small portions.
Switzerland is a ferry of small proportions.
You can’t go home.
Suisse est un federation.
Suisse est un fée des rations.
Switzerland is a fairy of small portions.
Switzerland is a ferry of small proportions.
You can’t go home.
2/17/2004
Rhythm Section
Click Click
Clack Clack
Coffee served with a pitcher of thick cream
And warm toast
And honey
In stew
With love
Tick Tick
Tack Tack
The rhinoceros goes Stomp Stomp
Cup Cup
Racket ball Thock Thock
Brave yellow
Pop Pop Mop Top
Crop Shop Bip Bop
THWAP
Central park horse
Clip Clop Clip Clop
Racket ball Fuck Fuck
Vacuum cleaner Suck Suck
In traffic Stuck Stuck
This line does not rhyme
Click Click
Clack Clack
Coffee served with a pitcher of thick cream
And warm toast
And honey
In stew
With love
Tick Tick
Tack Tack
The rhinoceros goes Stomp Stomp
Cup Cup
Racket ball Thock Thock
Brave yellow
Pop Pop Mop Top
Crop Shop Bip Bop
THWAP
Central park horse
Clip Clop Clip Clop
Racket ball Fuck Fuck
Vacuum cleaner Suck Suck
In traffic Stuck Stuck
This line does not rhyme
2/16/2004
Davie Crocket Is Not Dead
Davie Crocket is not dead.
Is he in Texas?
Elvis is alive.
Is he in Texas?
What is in Texas?
The Alamo.
Remember the Alamo?
Ozzie Osborne did.
Pee Wee Herman did.
Elvis live in the Alamo,
And he sings
Blue Swede Shoes
Every night.
Dubya live in the white house,
And he sings
Blue Swede Shoes
Every night.
I love music,
But not the Dixie Chicks.
They sing
Hound Dog
Every night.
Don’t mess with Texas.
PS. Maybe Davie Crocket IS dead
Davie Crocket is not dead.
Is he in Texas?
Elvis is alive.
Is he in Texas?
What is in Texas?
The Alamo.
Remember the Alamo?
Ozzie Osborne did.
Pee Wee Herman did.
Elvis live in the Alamo,
And he sings
Blue Swede Shoes
Every night.
Dubya live in the white house,
And he sings
Blue Swede Shoes
Every night.
I love music,
But not the Dixie Chicks.
They sing
Hound Dog
Every night.
Don’t mess with Texas.
PS. Maybe Davie Crocket IS dead
2/15/2004
a capital g
did you say Grace with a capitol g
perhaps I misunderstood.
my hearing is not so good these days
and I thought we were talking about groundhogs
with a capitol f?
‘cause the f-ing groundhog bit off my right ear
such is life
as such is life indeed.
amazing Grace sewed my ear back on
she is really a lovely lady
I remember the time
I fell and scraped my knee
on the pavement
near the sharp grass
that’s what gravity does for you
and then Grace came up to me
with her capitol g’s
and her capitol g-strings
and by g’s I don’t mean gangstas
that groundhog was a gangsta in the grass
a g’s fo life in the grass
he shot up some of the competing ground hogs
“I’ll show you a damn shadow, bitches.”
and indeed he did
it was the shadow of
his revolver.
but Grace took away his gun.
and then shot him
with a squirt gun
filled with gravity
“Hey, you’re a lady.”
did you say Grace with a capitol g
perhaps I misunderstood.
my hearing is not so good these days
and I thought we were talking about groundhogs
with a capitol f?
‘cause the f-ing groundhog bit off my right ear
such is life
as such is life indeed.
amazing Grace sewed my ear back on
she is really a lovely lady
I remember the time
I fell and scraped my knee
on the pavement
near the sharp grass
that’s what gravity does for you
and then Grace came up to me
with her capitol g’s
and her capitol g-strings
and by g’s I don’t mean gangstas
that groundhog was a gangsta in the grass
a g’s fo life in the grass
he shot up some of the competing ground hogs
“I’ll show you a damn shadow, bitches.”
and indeed he did
it was the shadow of
his revolver.
but Grace took away his gun.
and then shot him
with a squirt gun
filled with gravity
“Hey, you’re a lady.”
2/10/2004
The History of the English Language
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F: Fuck you.
J: Good marrow.
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F: Fuck you.
J: Good marrow.
2/09/2004
Lover Boy
one hounded pickles in
one hounded jars
hermetically sealed
one hundred vowels in
one hundred consonants
grammatically sealed
3 is a perfect number
in fact
it’s love
a cabinet full of ingredients
and custard
just for fun
custard stands alone
he watches the ingredients from the other side of the dance floor
the pickles remain in the jars
one hounded pickles in
one hounded jars
hermetically sealed
one hundred vowels in
one hundred consonants
grammatically sealed
3 is a perfect number
in fact
it’s love
a cabinet full of ingredients
and custard
just for fun
custard stands alone
he watches the ingredients from the other side of the dance floor
the pickles remain in the jars
2/08/2004
Keep Your Now and Laters Secret for Plans
Tube socks and rubber bands
Half a dozen pencils
But no erasers
I never could go back anyway
To that moment in a room without pottery
Skin loved graffito
The corner of an upturned bed next to a window
And a burnt out lamp
Disaster area
Shards of glass
Candy heart phrases tattooed on your arm
Eggshells on a white sink
And once on mine
Cookie cutter colloquialisms
Throughout the paradigm of disestablishmentarianisms
and I intellectually orgasm
Coin slots
And loose change
Honeydew melons
Lift my vocal range
Yellow lemon orange
Fruit shake
Valentines day antacids
Go well with cake
And heartache
Blender
And pencils without erasers
A crouching French fry
And no ketchup
It’s merely a flesh wound
Tube socks and rubber bands
Half a dozen pencils
But no erasers
I never could go back anyway
To that moment in a room without pottery
Skin loved graffito
The corner of an upturned bed next to a window
And a burnt out lamp
Disaster area
Shards of glass
Candy heart phrases tattooed on your arm
Eggshells on a white sink
And once on mine
Cookie cutter colloquialisms
Throughout the paradigm of disestablishmentarianisms
and I intellectually orgasm
Coin slots
And loose change
Honeydew melons
Lift my vocal range
Yellow lemon orange
Fruit shake
Valentines day antacids
Go well with cake
And heartache
Blender
And pencils without erasers
A crouching French fry
And no ketchup
It’s merely a flesh wound
2/05/2004
Handshake, The Way I Like It
We are always one step away from an orgy
Reach out and touch me
Where has your hand been today
With your sweaty, sweaty palm
And your tiny hangnail
We are always one step away from an orgy
Reach out and touch me
Where has your hand been today
With your sweaty, sweaty palm
And your tiny hangnail
2/04/2004
Sac Red Liscous
Slut
She’s a slut
She got a butt
Everybody poops
That’s what the wolf said
There once was a girl from the hood who liked to work under the hood
And I gave her high quality wood
En baskets
They said she was asking for it
So I gave it to her
And now I am in court
With grandma watching
I didn’t know she was so young
Grandma
The woodsman testifies
There was a forest down there
Can I get a witness
Can I get an amen
Can I get the A-team
The woodsman’s testies eyed
Use that axe
And the clowds opened
And god said
Let their be holy yellow water
And there was
And it was good
For me to poop on
I never trusted her anyway
That slut
I am trying to get back to urine
I wonder how much Jesus’s piss would sell for on E-bay
Just think about it
Slut
She’s a slut
She got a butt
Everybody poops
That’s what the wolf said
There once was a girl from the hood who liked to work under the hood
And I gave her high quality wood
En baskets
They said she was asking for it
So I gave it to her
And now I am in court
With grandma watching
I didn’t know she was so young
Grandma
The woodsman testifies
There was a forest down there
Can I get a witness
Can I get an amen
Can I get the A-team
The woodsman’s testies eyed
Use that axe
And the clowds opened
And god said
Let their be holy yellow water
And there was
And it was good
For me to poop on
I never trusted her anyway
That slut
I am trying to get back to urine
I wonder how much Jesus’s piss would sell for on E-bay
Just think about it
2/03/2004
String Cheese
White strands
Shrink wrapped
Sore fingers
Traded at lunch
Cartoon parrot
Should have kept cookie
Beyond the red line
The peeling kind
I just did it for the nookie
The ultimate string cheese
Encased in butter
Its hot in there
Something lurks
Ominous lunch boxes
The survivor kind
Like naked pictures of Rudy
Giuliani
Eating string cheese
With Rich
Monstrous phallic flashlight
before unnoticed now appears
I turn it on
How did it get here
This is not its beautiful house
End of my life monstrous phallic flashlight
But back to the lunchboxes
I really should have kept the cookie.
Gorillic farms
I would trade all the cookies in the world for a kiss lunchbox
I don’t even like string cheese
And Aerosmith is better than kiss
But there are no Aerosmith lunchboxes
Right now I just have Garfield
And he is holding a monstrous phallic flashlight
And john’s angry.
Garfield is not a cartoon parrot
Unfortunately
Which is why I needed the string cheese
Which is why Odie swallowed the phallic flashlight
I knew an old lady who swallow a fly
May contain nuts
I never knew an old woman who swallowed a flashlight
You shouldn’t joke about that sort of thing
You could choke and die
You could poke someone’s eye
The best things about beginning is that it doesn’t have an ending.
Do you want to end on that?
White strands
Shrink wrapped
Sore fingers
Traded at lunch
Cartoon parrot
Should have kept cookie
Beyond the red line
The peeling kind
I just did it for the nookie
The ultimate string cheese
Encased in butter
Its hot in there
Something lurks
Ominous lunch boxes
The survivor kind
Like naked pictures of Rudy
Giuliani
Eating string cheese
With Rich
Monstrous phallic flashlight
before unnoticed now appears
I turn it on
How did it get here
This is not its beautiful house
End of my life monstrous phallic flashlight
But back to the lunchboxes
I really should have kept the cookie.
Gorillic farms
I would trade all the cookies in the world for a kiss lunchbox
I don’t even like string cheese
And Aerosmith is better than kiss
But there are no Aerosmith lunchboxes
Right now I just have Garfield
And he is holding a monstrous phallic flashlight
And john’s angry.
Garfield is not a cartoon parrot
Unfortunately
Which is why I needed the string cheese
Which is why Odie swallowed the phallic flashlight
I knew an old lady who swallow a fly
May contain nuts
I never knew an old woman who swallowed a flashlight
You shouldn’t joke about that sort of thing
You could choke and die
You could poke someone’s eye
The best things about beginning is that it doesn’t have an ending.
Do you want to end on that?
2/02/2004
Fuck Me Intellectually
Fortune is a dark woman
Die
I steal bullets
From the heart of Africa
Down the river you row,bot not quickly
Our souls intertwined like steel wool
Still, steal steel wool?
Condom condom condom
I engineered a steal wool condom for my enamored robot
Wonders wool what wool will wear when wool has won?
Fortune is a dark woman
Die
I steal bullets
From the heart of Africa
Down the river you row,bot not quickly
Our souls intertwined like steel wool
Still, steal steel wool?
Condom condom condom
I engineered a steal wool condom for my enamored robot
Wonders wool what wool will wear when wool has won?
