Dead Poets Society: Wesleyan University Chapter

Dear Douggie B,

It's too bad your $350,000 a year can't buy you a soul. Here are some words that rhyme with tuition:

Intuition
Mission
Sex-position
Road to Perdition (staring Tom Hanks)
Competition
Rendition
Transition
Dog
Edition
Condition
Tradition
Exposition
Intercontinental Expedition

Intermission

Remission
Submission
Disposition
Extradition
Commission
Addition
Magician
Exhibition
Transmission
Dish'in
Gone fish'in
Permission
(Notice that we left out omission)
Audition
Hairy electrician
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
Fruition

Heart,
Dead Poets Society

Ps. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Poem With a Quote From A Really Famous Person
(cuz good poets do that all the time)

“Multicolored dirty liar
Walked out he door
Don’t let them back

I hated the sweater she was wearing, it was so last year
And his pants were so 1982
His face was like a Panda’s when he walked in
Crocodile shoes at Wesleyan?

That was a really phat joint
I’ve never seen an ear-thong before.
Why’d she try to stab him?”

Does anyone remember?
The pain I felt when he walked in the door
Because I had had stepped on broken glass
Swept under the carpet floor

The mood was blue, like his clothes
And his faced was contorted into all sorts of shapes
As he whined
Probably because the squirrel was nibbling on his toe.

I wanted to bite her
As they scratched at the door

And then the meteor struck her straight in the nose
Lisa was offended, and unleashed her wrath,
Her righteous fury.

She went on a rampage and killed everyone
Except for the two scratching at the door.
Which she saved for later.
Lisa in the pottery room with the flashlight.

Sam Wrote This

Cantaloupes
Have no
Way
To
Feel
Love.

The Title of the Peace

Its like a rock
Its so hard
To pass this test
Way out equals entrance
Istanbul and the Black Sea
The Black Sea is Made out of White headache
The reign of white headaches rains down
In an amber haze
Over an old empire
What is it
Old empire
What is it
Old empire
On the back of a camel

Maybe we should race
Across the black sea
Do you see?
On the back of the camel.
Its hump full of rain.
Its amber full of humps.
Its bul full of Istan.

I knew Stan.
I understand.
I don’t understand
What
The amber
Is trying
To rain, reign, rein.

Its awesome.

Condoms Are For Pussys

My love is wireless
It is unfettered
And not connected to earthly substantiality
But it does require a condom.
I freed myself from stiffing ethernet
But not from condoms
Free access to the www
And free access to condoms condoms and condoms
Always update your virus definitions
And condoms
Protection from the SURGES of the everlasting void
And condoms
You should protect yourself from condoms too
They are not water balloons
I am sorry, Elisabeth, but I forgot to turn off my monitor
I got a new hard drive
You said HARD drive
Because it is hard
And it drives you
Wow, its light
Use UNIX not eunuchs
And always remember to shut your windows
Lets write a poem about butterflies

Victor
A Birthday Poem

“Have good birthday!”
“Thank you,
It’s on Sunday.”
It will be a Funday
Better than Monday
Which will be the next day
Before Tuesday
Which can be a Blueday
And then you only have 363 until the next day
But this is your day, Vincent
And its Friday I’m in love
Our love is omniscient
Like a fission vision
February 29 is a bad day to have a B-day
I would be 4 years old
Truth be told
Only four days to behold
Why is it so damn cold
I know someone who was born February 30th
Be glad you’re not him, Vincent
Or you wouldn’t be born

Happy Birthday!
Love,
David P. Stevens

Kobe Bryant, An American Hero

Crumpled rugs
Barney hugs
Fat ass lugs
Bunny bugs
College boy chugs
Druggie thugs
Everyone else shrugs
Ugly mugs
Sticky nugs
Eep. Eep. Eep.

Google is Omniscient

Spell check saved me
Flipped flashlights
Don't function
So turn yourself on
To crazy computer rambunction
If you can
Because omniscience is impotence
"Not Me"
Said Google
And you never know what will be
Like koogle
And warm rice noodle
From take out
Mmm, Beef

And broccoli
In a stew
Beef stew
It makes me think of you
And your warm meat
Your hair so neat
You can't beat meat
But I may eat you
Mmm, You

I wanna slice of that
Or two
I wanna splice a frat
Frat is just a red herring, you dolt
I am telling you, the spirits is a motherfucking cult
Struck down by the lightning bolt
Of gods wrath
Best get off his path
Because I don't know my math
Lets turn a new leaf
Mmm, Beef

Search completed
Without any results
I am feeling lucky
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with
As our mixed up binary bodies intertwine
Behind
10101
and now we're done
or not
dot dot dot











psyche!!!
Mmm, Psyche Test

Part II

The sequel is always worse
than the original.

i am lost in a Matrix II
you can make a case for Star Wars II
Airplane II sucked
but Major League II was a fucking awesome movie
i really liked Legal Weapon II
i think we are missing the point
its like being lost in Siberia II
i liked the Lost World II
before I realized it was a piece of shit
just like the rest
just like my life in this lost world
of Siberia II
where I am so alone
this is Teen Angst, the sequel
Teen Angst II is so bad
bad like breathing
bad like a squeal

But who ever ruled out Reincarnation?
I did.
But who ever ruled out Reincarnation II?

I Am Touched

In Siberia I am so alone
Except for snow and permafrost
And my folded up jeans

In my soul I am so alone
With my razor
Without a blade
Razorblade, I mean, what

Fuck you, I am not coming to the next meeting.